Blood relations: A blessing in disguise?
“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain the bonds of kinship.” (Bukhari)
O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam) and from him he created his wife (Hawwa), and from both them both He created many men & women; and fear Allah through Whom you demand, and (do not cut the relations of) womb (kinship, blood relations). Surely Allah is Ever an All-Watcher over you.” (Aayah no. 1, Surah An-Nisa’, Chapter No. 4, Holy Qur’an).
All faiths ask us to maintain our links with blood relations – it’s not a difficult command to understand. The majority of humankind have at least one person in their lives to call family and many have several people whom they can call blood relatives. The special connection, that connection of sharing the same blood, is a natural phenomena that should help us to develop meaningful relationships and unconditional love that warms the heart and offers a sense of security when times get tough. When this unconditional love exists, we can forgive and move on without holding grudges. Time and distance may restrict the quantity of moments, but when those rare moments come along, they never lose their quality. This is blood love.
I am one of the lucky ones. My family are just an hour down the M62 and the passing of my dad last year proved without doubt that our family ties are strong Alhumdulillah. I see every moment I spend with my family as a blessing, and despite our many different personalities, somehow, it works.
When our family relationships are threatened, what is the first thing we do? Do we look within ourselves to find the answer? Usually, our initial reaction is to find someone or something to blame: a situation that could have been avoided if we had reacted a different way or an argument that would have never happened if only a certain person could control their temper. Unless someone takes the brave step of admitting their mistake or standing in humbleness, willing to put aside their pride for the sake of the family, issues often spiral out of control. One of the most difficult things for us as human beings is to hear the truth about ourselves. We find the concept of lowering ourselves in front of others excruciating – yet this is a characteristic of a truly humble, God fearing human being, who does not wish to put himself ahead of the needs of others. It is a form of self-sacrifice that ultimately serves to purify the heart.
There will always be family members who have their moments of negative glory – you just need to learn how to handle it! Remain positive, keep calm, turn to your faith and remember, there is no love like blood love. Unless maintaining kinship leads you away from goodness – keep the love strong. Nothing else feels like the love of your relatives, and through thick and thin, they will be there for you In Shaa Allah.